there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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