I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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