Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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