you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
