Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
that's an acceptable place to lick
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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