I'm lost and stupid without you.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
