love makes seman taste better
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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