its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
