That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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