i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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