I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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