A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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