separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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