If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
