I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
