Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize