and she was petting her beer can
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
