Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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