How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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