Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
