happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
