im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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