Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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