this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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