I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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