just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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