I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize