No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize