Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
