Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
