it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it's like iHOP with fire
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
