i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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