Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
