Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
