I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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