Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
