I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
