Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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