New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
