What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
