New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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