I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
