I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
