Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
