Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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