Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
