guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
God, I missed his penis.
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