Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
