im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
