And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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