They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
