i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
