What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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