every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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