moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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