why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
