But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
