mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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