so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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