I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
