I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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