you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm always down for nudity.
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