My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
