this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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