My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
