Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
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so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
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some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize