i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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