So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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