If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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