u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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