This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Randomize
